Teresa

“you don’t have to take criticism or field your family’s opinions on any of your choices, from the job you take to who you marry to where you live. You’re not asking your family for money, advice, or even false enthusiasm—your very reasonable boundary is simply “I won’t stand here and let you pee in my Cheerios.”
― Melissa Urban, The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free

“I’ll emphasize this here because women have been conditioned to see selflessness as a virtue, and to require a damn good reason (and often approval) to ask for anything for ourselves. It can feel deeply uncomfortable to state our boundary and let it stand without overexplaining, making excuses, or justifying our desires—so that is exactly what I’m asking you to practice, as a means of reminding yourself that you are worthy of having and meeting your own needs. Every time I acknowledge and honor my own needs without asking for “permission” first, I think of it as giving a quiet middle finger to the patriarchy.”
― Melissa Urban, The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free

“While it may seem empathetic to share your own similar story (“Look, I’ve been there, too!”), what it actually does is center you in the conversation, instead of allowing you to be there for your friend. The best way to be empathetic here is active listening, reflecting back what you hear your friend saying, and then asking how you can best support them.”
― Melissa Urban, The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free

“People reacting this badly to your boundaries means you’re revoking a privilege they were never meant to have.”
― Melissa Urban, The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free