Teresa

“While it may seem empathetic to share your own similar story (“Look, I’ve been there, too!”), what it actually does is center you in the conversation, instead of allowing you to be there for your friend. The best way to be empathetic here is active listening, reflecting back what you hear your friend saying, and then asking how you can best support them.”
― Melissa Urban, The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free

“Remember that the next time you’re tempted to feel guilty for setting a boundary at work—you’re a true team player because you’re helping to create a workplace culture in which everyone thrives.”
― Melissa Urban, The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free

“I’ll emphasize this here because women have been conditioned to see selflessness as a virtue, and to require a damn good reason (and often approval) to ask for anything for ourselves. It can feel deeply uncomfortable to state our boundary and let it stand without overexplaining, making excuses, or justifying our desires—so that is exactly what I’m asking you to practice, as a means of reminding yourself that you are worthy of having and meeting your own needs. Every time I acknowledge and honor my own needs without asking for “permission” first, I think of it as giving a quiet middle finger to the patriarchy.”
― Melissa Urban, The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free

“Self-boundaries are a gift from Present You to Future You, and if that gift isn’t what Future You needs, exchange it for something better.”
― Melissa Urban, The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits That Will Set You Free