vesper fox

“Now I can add prostitute to my list of life's accomplishments.”
― Augusten Burroughs, Running with Scissors

“But even with my minimal amount of fame, there are certain perks. Recently, I was at a movie premier, and at the party after the movie, Meryl Streep was loose, walking around the room like a normal person. Absolutely nothing was preventing me from lunging toward her and shrieking "Dingoes ate my baby! Dingoes ate my baby!”
― Augusten Burroughs, Magical Thinking: True Stories

“If my mother was odd enough to crave a bubble bath at three in the morning, Dorothy was inventive enough to suggest adding broken glass to the tub. If my mother insisted on listening to West Side Story repeatedly, it was Dorothy who said, 'Let's listen to it on forty-five!' And when my mother announced that she wanted a fur wrap like Auntie Mame, Dorothy bought her an unstable Norwegian elkhound from a puppy mill.”
― Augusten Burroughs, Running with Scissors

“You know what we need? We need to get jobs, get the fuck out of that crazy house,' Natalie said, dipping a McNugget into her sauce.

Yeah, right. Jobs doing what? Our only skills are oral sex and restraining agitated psychotics.”
― Augusten Burroughs, Running with Scissors