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“At its worse, emotional manipulation methodically wears down your self-worth and self-confidence and damages your trust in your own perceptions. It can make you unwittingly compromise yourself to the point of losing your self-respect and developing a warped concept of reality. With your defenses weakened or completely disarmed in this manner, you are left even more vulnerable to further manipulation.”
― Adelyn Birch, 30 Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics: How Manipulators Take Control In Personal Relationships

“The manipulator pretends he or she forgot something that’s important to you, such as an agreement, a promise, or a commitment, or even an ingredient you need for dinner that night that he agreed to pick up on his way over. The manipulator will look you in the eye and keep a straight face as they tell you they’re sorry, but they simply forgot your request or they don’t recall making that agreement. When a manipulator “forgets” something that is important to you, they are attempting to evade responsibility by blaming something out of their control.”
― Adelyn Birch, 30 Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics: How Manipulators Take Control In Personal Relationships

“If you’re a victim of this tactic, you will sense the manipulator is withdrawing. He or she is not giving you the attention and affection that they used to, and you will fear that something is wrong and that you are losing them. If you ask them if something is wrong, they will deny it or blame you. At some point the manipulator will act once again like the attentive, romantic, interested and loving person they once were. Your anxiety and doubt are relieved, and you are on top of the world. But then they withdraw again, and you are consumed with anxiety once more. By using intermittent reinforcement the manipulator will have you riding an emotional roller coaster, your moods and emotional well-being dependent upon whether he or she is withholding from you or rewarding you.”
― Adelyn Birch, 30 Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics: How Manipulators Take Control In Personal Relationships

“When you hold a belief strongly, it is difficult to believe something that is so contrary to it, even if the evidence is undeniable and staring you in the face. When you start opening your eyes to ways the CN has controlled, manipulated, belittled, and demeaned you for years, this is a huge reality paradigm shift. You will fight hard against the evidence no matter how obvious it is. This stirs up great insecurity, confusion, and anxiety in the body. What makes it even harder is that people around you see the CN in a positive light. Cognitive dissonance is one of the most challenging components of healing and recovery. It takes enormous mental strength to look past strong beliefs you have held and be open to looking honestly at the reality that is presenting itself.”
― Debbie Mirza, The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse