Rowan Thomas-Knapp

“The reason you can’t lose weight is that you’re not supposed to lose weight, you’re not built that way, and if you did manage through some stupid diet to take the weight off, you’d be like that chicken mess you just made. Some things are supposed to be made with butter. You’re one of them.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Welcome To Temptation / Bet Me

“Leave it to the army to mechanize an erection.” “Laugh now, funny girl,” Shane said. “That’s gonna be a bridge in about a minute.” “And that bridge can hold over sixty tons,” Carpenter said. “So it’s a strong erection,” Lisa Livia said, looking at Carpenter. “Oh,”
― Jennifer Crusie, Agnes and the Hitman

“So, Mr. Shane, you felt you had the right to come down here and bespoil my crime scene because …” He raised his eyebrows, waiting for an answer. “I thought he might need assistance,” Shane lied. “And the untoward angle of his neck did not tell you that he was beyond any earthly assistance you might render?” “I’m not a doctor, sir,” Shane said. “Neither are you a miracle worker, son,” Xavier said. “Should you find any other bodies in my jurisdiction, you will refrain from attempting to raise them from the dead.” “Yes,”
― Jennifer Crusie, Agnes and the Hitman

“So I’ve been sexy all these years? Why hasn’t anybody noticed?” “Because you dress like you hate your body,” Cal said. “Sexy is in your head and you don’t feel sexy so you don’t look it.”
― Jennifer Crusie, Welcome To Temptation / Bet Me