Shawna Beaver- Schaefer

“If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“If you must eat a banana in public, never make eye contact.”
― Darynda Jones, Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

“There is a great need for a sarcasm font.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Can I jump in your body and make out with my wife through you?”
I fought a grin. “It doesn’t really work that way.”
“Then can you just make out with my wife and pretend I’m in your body?”
“No.”
“I can pay. I have money.”
“How much we talking?”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right