“Vimes awoke with a noseful of camel. There are far worse awakenings, but not as many as you might think.”
― Jingo
― Jingo
“On the Kite, the situation was being 'workshopped'. This is the means by which people who don't know anything get together to pool their ignorance.”
― The Last Hero
― The Last Hero
“Winder's mind felt even fuzzier than it had done over the past few years, but he was certain about cake. He'd been eating cake, and now there wasn't any. Through the mists he saw it, apparently close but, when he tried to reach it, a long way away.
A certain realization dawned on him.
"Oh," he said.
YES, said Death.
"Not even time to finish my cake?"
NO. THERE IS NO MORE TIME, EVEN FOR CAKE. FOR YOU, THE CAKE IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE.”
― Night Watch
A certain realization dawned on him.
"Oh," he said.
YES, said Death.
"Not even time to finish my cake?"
NO. THERE IS NO MORE TIME, EVEN FOR CAKE. FOR YOU, THE CAKE IS OVER. YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE.”
― Night Watch
“I'm your worst nightmare!' said Teatime cheerfully.
The man shuddered.
'You mean ... the one with the giant cabbage and the sort of whirring knife thing?'
'Sorry?' Teatime looked momentarily nonplussed.
'Then you're the one where I'm falling, only instead of the ground underneath it's all --'
'No. In fact I'm --'
The guard sagged. 'Awww, not the one where there's all this kind of, you know, mud and then everything goes blue --'
'No, I'm --'
'Oh, shit, then you're the one where there's this door only there's no floor beyond it and then there's these claws --'
'No,' said Teatime. 'Not that one.' He withdrew a dagger from his sleeve. 'I'm the one where this man comes out of nowhere and kills you, stone dead.”
― Hogfather
The man shuddered.
'You mean ... the one with the giant cabbage and the sort of whirring knife thing?'
'Sorry?' Teatime looked momentarily nonplussed.
'Then you're the one where I'm falling, only instead of the ground underneath it's all --'
'No. In fact I'm --'
The guard sagged. 'Awww, not the one where there's all this kind of, you know, mud and then everything goes blue --'
'No, I'm --'
'Oh, shit, then you're the one where there's this door only there's no floor beyond it and then there's these claws --'
'No,' said Teatime. 'Not that one.' He withdrew a dagger from his sleeve. 'I'm the one where this man comes out of nowhere and kills you, stone dead.”
― Hogfather
“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal.
"Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed.
"Yes."
"One of your soldiers said he bit a man's nose off."
Vimes shrugged. "He's got a very pointed look if I don't use the sugar tongs, I know that.”
― Jingo
"Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed.
"Yes."
"One of your soldiers said he bit a man's nose off."
Vimes shrugged. "He's got a very pointed look if I don't use the sugar tongs, I know that.”
― Jingo
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