Charlotte

“The leader of this team of doctors was a dignified, solicitous gentleman who held one finger up directly in front of Yossarian and demanded, “How many fingers do you see?” “Two,” said Yossarian. “How many fingers do you see now?” asked the doctor, holding up two. “Two,” said Yossarian. “And how many now?” asked the doctor, holding up none. “Two,” said Yossarian. The doctor’s face wreathed with a smile. “By Jove, he’s right,” he declared jubilantly. “He does see everything twice.”
― Joseph Heller, Catch-22

“Since he had nothing better to do well in, he did well in school.”
― Joseph Heller, Catch-22

“Chaplain,” he continued, looking up, “we accuse you also of the commission of crimes and infractions we don’t even know about yet. Guilty or innocent?” “I don’t know, sir. How can I say if you don’t tell me what they are?” “How can we tell you if we don’t know?” “Guilty,” decided the colonel. “Sure he’s guilty,” agreed the major. “If they’re his crimes and infractions, he must have committed them.”
― Joseph Heller, Catch-22

“Clevinger is a very bright guy, a Harvard man, who knows everything about literature except how to enjoy it.”
― Joseph Heller, Catch-22