Andi

“Then a homeless man with a dog approached us and put his hand out. This happens to be something that I have a real problem with: homeless people with pets who approach you for food when they have a perfectly delicious dog standing right there?”
― Chelsea Handler, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

“My feeling is, if a dog is that hard up to break free, let it go. It's like a boyfriend who wants to break up. We all know the old adage "If you set someone free, and he never comes back, then he was never yours." I understand the main fear with setting dogs loose is they could get hit by a car, but so could an ex boyfriend. That's just a chance you have to take.”
― Chelsea Handler, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

“My father has a high opinion of his opinion”
― Chelsea Handler, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

“Our relationship finally ended when he took to waking me up in the wee hours of the morning when he would go surfing. He thought it might be fun to have me come watch. "Fun for who?" I wanted to ask. I had never asked him to come to Happy Hour and watch me drink.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands