Cat

“he’s like a gun; once you point him and pull the trigger, it’s too late to change your mind.”
― Craig Johnson, Any Other Name

“I have found in most relationships with women it is best to remember their birthdays but forget their age.”
― Craig Johnson, Divorce Horse

“I don’t know what the exact physical dynamics are that cause a shower curtain to attach itself to your body when you turn on the water but, since my shower was surrounded on all sides by curtains, I turned on the water and became a vinyl, vacuum-sealed sheriff burrito.”
― Craig Johnson, The Cold Dish

“Thinking you’re not in trouble and not being in trouble are two different things.”
― Craig Johnson, Kindness Goes Unpunished