Cat

“I don't trust people who don't like animals. Hell, animals are the finest people I know.”
― Craig Johnson, The Dark Horse

“I don’t know what the exact physical dynamics are that cause a shower curtain to attach itself to your body when you turn on the water but, since my shower was surrounded on all sides by curtains, I turned on the water and became a vinyl, vacuum-sealed sheriff burrito.”
― Craig Johnson, The Cold Dish

“Thinking you’re not in trouble and not being in trouble are two different things.”
― Craig Johnson, Kindness Goes Unpunished

“The old cowboy Hershel, "You know what they say about a horse bein' only afraid of two things?"

Walt, "What's that?"

Hershel, "Things that move and things that don't”
― Craig Johnson, The Dark Horse