“It’s interesting-most people think about therapy as something that involves going in and undoing what’s happened. But whatever your past experiences created in your brain, the associations exist and you can’t just delete them. You can’t get rid of the past.
Therapy is more about building new associations, making new, healthier default pathways. It is almost as if therapy is taking your two-lane dirt road and building a four-lane freeway alongside it. The old road stays, but you don’t use it much anymore. Therapy is building a better alternative, a new default. And that takes repetition, and time, honestly, it works best if someone understands how the brain changes. This is why understanding how trauma impacts our health is essential for everyone.”
― What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
Therapy is more about building new associations, making new, healthier default pathways. It is almost as if therapy is taking your two-lane dirt road and building a four-lane freeway alongside it. The old road stays, but you don’t use it much anymore. Therapy is building a better alternative, a new default. And that takes repetition, and time, honestly, it works best if someone understands how the brain changes. This is why understanding how trauma impacts our health is essential for everyone.”
― What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
“Now, as I’ve suggested before, what is adaptive for children living in chaotic, violent, trauma-permeated environments becomes maladaptive in other environments-especially school. The hypervigilance of the Alert state is mistaken for ADHD; the resistance and defiance of Alarm and Fear get labeled as oppositional defiant disorder; flight behavior gets them suspended from school; fight behavior gets them charged with assault. The pervasive misunderstanding of trauma-related behavior has a profound effect on our educational, mental health, and juvenile justice systems.”
― What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
― What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
“So I’m not crazy?” “No. Your brain is doing exactly what you would expect it to do considering what you lived through.”
― What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
― What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
“Perhaps the dark can veil trees and flowers from the eye. But it can’t hide love from the soul.”
― Broken Wings
― Broken Wings
“The experiences in the first years of life are disproportionately powerful in shaping how your brain organizes.”
― What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
― What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
Zainab’s 2025 Year in Books
Take a look at Zainab’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
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