Lois

“Are you badly hurt?"
"Hideously," said the king, without sounding injured at all. "I am disemboweled. My insides may in an instant become my outsides as I stand here before you.”
― Megan Whalen Turner, The King of Attolia

“All I wanted to do was lie in the dry grass with my feet in a ditch forever. I could be a convenient sort of milemarker, I thought. Get to the thief and you know you're halfway to Methana.”
― Megan Whalen Turner, The Thief

“Well, the problem is, it's not easy for me to think of ways to improve myself, because I'm pretty much one of the best people I know.”
― Jeff Kinney

“He's at the chocolate teapot end of the competency scale.”
― Nick Hornby, A Long Way Down