Andrea

“So I ended up getting out of pimping, because I didn’t make much money. It’s just not a lucrative business, selling dick. Dick ain’t really all that hard to come by.”
― Tiffany Haddish, The Last Black Unicorn

“Because Anno Domini, in the Year of Our Lord, is fine for Christians, but Thor gets a little upset. He still holds a grudge that Jesus never showed up for that duel he challenged him to.” “Say what now?”
― Rick Riordan, The Sword of Summer

“He’s ashamed of himself, because he left you when you were three, did nothing for you, and you ended up being very successful without him, and then you buy him stuff. You are not only a better person than he is, but you are kind and responsible where he is not, and you’re providing where he did not. Not just as his child, but as a woman, providing for him. Your goodness holds up a mirror to his ugliness, and that is too painful for him, so he has to project this onto you, by saying you make him feel less about himself. It’s nothing you did. It’s guilt.”
― Tiffany Haddish, The Last Black Unicorn

“Parents are just uncelebrated rock stars - we stay up late, take drugs and treat our bodies like crap. Yay!”
― Amber Dusick, Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures