Jim

“on the phone
Bookseller: Hello Ripping Yarns.
Customer: Do you have any mohair wool?
Bookseller: Sorry, we're not a yarns shop, we're a bookshop.
Customer: You're called Ripping Yarns.
Bookseller: Yes, that's 'yarns' as in stories.
Customer: Well it's a stupid name.
Bookseller: It's a Monty Python reference.
Customer: So you don't sell wool?
Bookseller: No.
Customer: Hmf. Ridiculous.
Bookseller: ...but we do sell dead parrots.
Customer: What?
Bookseller: Parrots. Dead. Extinct. Expired. Would you like one?
Customer: Erm, no.
Bookseller: Ok, well if you change your mind, do call back.”
― Jen Campbell, Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops

“it was so quiet. Reckon I’d have heard an ant shit.”
― S.W. Kane, The Bone Jar

“... history is a fog, a fog of uncertainty. The deeper one peers into it, the murkier and more uncertain the fog becomes. The instant an event has transpired and begins receding into the past it becomes vulnerable to memory and interpretation..”
― Don Hollway, The Last Viking: The True Story of King Harald Hardrada and the End of the Norsemen

“Let's be reasonable and add an eighth day to the week that is devoted exclusively to reading.”
― Lena Dunham