Crystal

“Rich people have small TVs and big libraries, and poor people have small libraries and big TVs.”
― Zig Ziglar

“At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That event predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. Please. I fall ALL the time. You know who comes and gets me? The bouncer.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

“There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.”
― Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

“You've won the evolutionary lottery: You're a vampire. Let's go to Disneyland!”
― J.R. Ward, Dark Lover