Andrew Allred

“Jack: "For Christ's sake, it wasn't like I was on vacation. I've been in Iowa, in cornfield hell!

Keely: Did you just say you got cornholed in Iowa?”
― Lorelei James, All Jacked Up

“And then what are your plans?”
Annwyl frowned. “My plans?”
“Yes. Your plans. You take your brother’s head, your troops are waiting. What is the next thing that you do?”
Annwyl just stared at him. He realized in that instant that the girl had no plans. None. No grand schemes of controlling the world. No plots to destroy any other empires. Not even the plan to have a celebratory dinner.
“Annwyl, you’ll be queen. You’ll have to do something.”
“But I don’t want to be queen.” Her body shook with panic, and he could hear it in her voice.
“You take his head, you’ll have little choice.”
“What the hell am I supposed to do as queen?”
“Well . .you could try ruling.”
“That sounds awfully complicated.”
― G.A. Aiken, Dragon Actually

“Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistable urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee.”
― J.R. Ward, Dark Lover

“I know she's weird. Her friends know she's weird. And we all accept it because she's weird, but also amazing.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Beast Behaving Badly