Andrew Allred

“He looked like you ripped his heart out of his chest, threw it to
the ground, and stomped all over it while singing a jaunty tune.”
Annwyl shrugged at Morfyd’s bemused expression. “I might have
seen that look before on his brother.”
“Perhaps when you stabbed our father?”
Annwyl laughed. “No. Then he just looked proud.”
― G.A. Aiken, About a Dragon

“Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes its time, and gets to know everyone personally. —T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

“How would you like your eggs?"

I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. "Fertilized?”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

“Outside the windows the day was bright: golden sunshine, blue sky, pleasant wind . . . I wanted to punch the happy day in the face, grab it by the hair, and beat it until it told me what the hell it was so happy about.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Rises