Joanna

“This is... you're certain, Faith?" When I nod, his face splits into a boyish grin. "A child."
"Or a roasted chicken. You guess which one.”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God

“Be kind, aim for my heart.”
― Alexandre Dumas, The Three Musketeers

“I’ve bought a town house,” said Oswald. “In Aphrany. A huge black and white timbered monstrosity. The kind a very rich merchant lives in.”
“Why in god’s name?” asked Mason.
“Because Fenella once said she likes them,” said Oswald. “In a purely throw-away conversation. But for some reason, every word she speaks is seared on my brain.”
Roland cleared his throat. “Bit impulsive for you, isn’t it?”
“A bit?” echoed Oswald. “I forced the King to sign annulment papers to an eight-year marriage. Simply because I feel sick to my stomach at the idea of her ever belonging to another man. And the worst of it is, that the annulment is the least drastic course of action that occurred to me. For the last three months, in my head I have been drawing up legal papers to sue Thane for the eight years he spent at my wife’s side, masquerading in my rightful place. In her life, in her heart and in her bed.” He heard his voice shake with anger and realized his brothers must too. Taking a deep breath, he continued more evenly. “Each time I mentally draft the petition, I request a more severe punishment befitting of his crime.”
“What kind of punishments?” asked Mason with interest, sitting back in his seat.
Oswald blew out a shaky breath. “In the latest version, it was beheading.”
― Alice Coldbreath, His Forsaken Bride

“I'm pregnant," I blurt.
He stares at me. "With a baby."
I slap his chest. "No, with a fucking roasted chicken. Yes, with a baby!”
― Ruby Dixon, Bound to the Battle God