Erica

“It's true, I did say I wanted girlfriends," I capitulated hesitantly, "but couldn't we start with something smaller and less terrifying? Like maybe spend a weekend at a crack house? I heard those people are very nonjudgmental, and if you accidentally say something offensive you can just blame it on their hallucinations.”
― Jenny Lawson, Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir

“You do not mess with the special investigators.”
― Lee Child, Bad Luck and Trouble

“A friend is someone who knows where all your bodies are buried. Because they're the ones who helped you put them there."
And sometimes, if you're really lucky, they help you dig them back up.”
― Jenny Lawson, Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”
― Mel Brooks