Brian Stagemeyer

“The past is not an endless collection of failures. It is instead a magnificent collection of lessons.”
― George Wallace, Laff It Off!

“Getting older is strange. You’re getting wiser and wiser, but there’s more and more crap you don’t understand. My neighbor knows the meaning of life but can’t work a microwave. My Aunt Winnie is the smartest lady I know. She tried Facebook for three days, got poked three times, then deleted her account.”
― George Wallace, Laff It Off!

“If you’re making a family, you’re doing God’s work. It’s never easy, but the reward will go on for generations. Long after you’re gone. Now that is an amazing thing.”
― George Wallace, Laff It Off!

“How did the government spend three million dollars trying to find out if Jeffrey Dahmer was crazy? Three million dollars! Let me tell you something, when I’m president I will make one very simple law. Anytime you eat three or more people, you’re crazy!”
― George Wallace, Laff It Off!