Alexander

“Donut: I’M JUST GLAD IT DIDN’T KEEP US IN IOWA. DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO WOULD VOLUNTARILY VISIT IOWA? THAT’S ALMOST AS BAD AS DELAWARE.”
― Matt Dinniman, The Eye of the Bedlam Bride

“My dear man!” Breeze said. “Have I taught you nothing? Being in charge isn’t about doing anything—it’s about making certain that other people do what they’re supposed to! Delegation, my friend. Without it, we would have to bake our own bread and dig our own latrines!” Then Breeze leaned in. “And trust me. You don’t want to taste anything I’ve had a hand in baking. Ever. Particularly after I’ve cleaned a latrine.”
― Brandon Sanderson, The Hero of Ages

“Our magic is a joke down there. It doesn’t work. You might as well be shouting brownie recipes.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“The red menace contaminated our precious bodily fluids!”
― Maxime J. Durand, The Perfect Run II