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“Some years back I decided God is like a blacksmith,” she announced. “And I think all these horrible experiences are just him putting us in the fire and hammering at us, and then putting us in the fire again, and hammering some more until
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“Oh, I forgot to tell you," Cookie said. "Amber wants your dad to get a teriyaki machine so she can sing for all the lonely barflies."
"I'm a good singer, mom."
Only a twelve-year-old could make the word mom sound blasphemous.
I leaned into Cookie, "Does she know its not called--?"
"No," she whispered.
"Are you gonna tell her?"
"No. It's much funnier this way.”
― First Grave on the Right
"I'm a good singer, mom."
Only a twelve-year-old could make the word mom sound blasphemous.
I leaned into Cookie, "Does she know its not called--?"
"No," she whispered.
"Are you gonna tell her?"
"No. It's much funnier this way.”
― First Grave on the Right
“Do your thing and don't care if they like it.”
― Bossypants
― Bossypants
“Can I jump in your body and make out with my wife through you?”
I fought a grin. “It doesn’t really work that way.”
“Then can you just make out with my wife and pretend I’m in your body?”
“No.”
“I can pay. I have money.”
“How much we talking?”
― First Grave on the Right
I fought a grin. “It doesn’t really work that way.”
“Then can you just make out with my wife and pretend I’m in your body?”
“No.”
“I can pay. I have money.”
“How much we talking?”
― First Grave on the Right
“For the first time in my life, I was in a shoot-out. A real, honest-to-goodness shoot-out with a bad guy. And, apparently, we both sucked.”
― Second Grave on the Left
― Second Grave on the Left
“I'm in love with you," he said quietly.
"Augustus," I said.
"I am," he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. "I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.”
― The Fault in Our Stars
"Augustus," I said.
"I am," he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. "I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.”
― The Fault in Our Stars
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