Sonja Nelson

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The Way We Never ...
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Empire of Pleasures
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  (page 118 of 352)
Dec 08, 2025 03:42PM

 
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Jen Campbell
“CUSTOMER: These books are really stupid, aren’t they?
BOOKSELLER: Which ones?
CUSTOMER: You know, the ones where animals like cats and mice are best friends.
BOOKSELLER: I suppose they’re not very realistic, but then that’s fiction.
CUSTOMER: They’re more than unrealistic; they’re really stupid.
BOOKSELLER: Well, writers use that kind of thing to teach kids about accepting people different to themselves, you know?
CUSTOMER: Yeah, well, books shouldn’t pretend that different people get on like that and that everything is ‘la de da’ and wonderful, should they? Kids should learn that life’s a bitch, and the sooner the better.”
Jen Campbell, Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops

Jen Campbell
“CUSTOMER: Hi, I just wanted to ask: did Anne Frank ever write a sequel?
BOOKSELLER: ........
CUSTOMER: I really enjoyed her first book.
BOOKSELLER: Her diary?
CUSTOMER: Yes, the diary.
BOOKSELLER: Her diary wasn’t fictional.
CUSTOMER: Really?
BOOKSELLER: Yes... She really dies at the end – that’s why the diary finishes. She was taken to a concentration camp.
CUSTOMER: Oh... that’s terrible.
BOOKSELLER: Yes, it was awful -
CUSTOMER: I mean, it’s such a shame, you know? She was such a good writer.”
Jen Campbell, Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops

Jen Campbell
“Customer: Do you have any crime books involving speeding fines?”
Jen Campbell, Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops

Jen Campbell
“CUSTOMER: OK, so you want this book?
THEIR DAUGHTER: Yes!
CUSTOMER: Peter Pan?
THEIR DAUGHTER: Yes, please. Because he can fly.
CUSTOMER: Yes, he can - he's very good at flying.
THEIR DAUGHTER: Why can't I fly, daddy?
CUSTOMER: Because of evolution, sweetheart.”
Jen Campbell, Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops

Jen Campbell
“CUSTOMER: Oh, look, these books are all signed. (Pause) I wonder who signed them ?”
Jen Campbell, Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops
tags: humor

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