“Tears that are driven by white guilt are self-indulgent. When we are mired in guilt, we are narcissistic and ineffective; guilt functions as an excuse for inaction. Further, because we so seldom have authentic and sustained cross-racial relationships, our tears do not feel like solidarity to people of color we have not previously supported. Instead, our tears function as impotent reflexes that don’t lead to constructive action. We need to reflect on when we cry and when we don’t, and why. In other words, what does it take to move us? Since many of us have not learned how racism works and our role in it, our tears may come from shock and distress about what we didn’t know or recognize. For people of color, our tears demonstrate our racial insulation and privilege.”
― White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism
― White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism
“Treating different things the same can generate as much inequality as treating the same things differently.”
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“There are people who don’t care one bit about your pain, and people who are far more concerned with being seen as helpful and important than they are in actually being helpful.”
― It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
― It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
“Grief is already a lonely experience. It rearranges your address book: people you thought would stay beside you through anything have either disappeared or they’ve behaved so badly, you cut them out yourself. Even those who truly love you, who want more than anything to stay beside you, fall short of joining you here. It can feel like you lost the entire world right along with the person who died.”
― It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
― It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
“Grief is not a sign that you’re unwell or unevolved. It’s a sign that love has been part of your life, and that you want love to continue, even here.”
― It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
― It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
M’s 2025 Year in Books
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