Rachel

“You can't blame me. I mean that literally. You're incapable of blaming me. You're human. Being human is choosing freedom over imprisonment, autonomy over dependency, liberty over servitude. You can't blame me because you know (come on, man, you've always known) that the idea of spending eternity with nothing to do except praise God is utterly unappealing. You'd be catatonic after an hour. Heaven's a swiz because to get in you have to leave yourself outside. You can't blame me because -- now do please be honest with yourself for once -- you'd have left, too.”
― Glen Duncan, I, Lucifer

“Heaven's heard us down here, cackling at our piss-takes and chortling at our quips; I've seen the looks, the suspicion that they're missing out on it, this laughing malarkey. But they always turn away, Gabriel to horn practice, Michael to the weights. Truth is they're timid. If there was a safe way down--a fire escape (boom-boom)--there'd be more than a handful of deserters tiptoeing down to my door. Abandon hope all ye who enter here, yes--but get ready for a rart ol' giggle, dearie.”
― Glen Duncan, I, Lucifer

“You’re not supposed to dislike your own child. You were supposed to like them no matter what, even if they were not what you wanted.”
― JK Rowling, The Casual Vacancy

“(I invented rock and roll. You wouldn't believe the things I've invented. Anal sex, obviously. Smoking. Astrology. Money ... Let's save time: Everything in the world that distracts you from thinking about God. Which ... pretty much ... is everything in the world, isn't it? Gosh.)”
― Glen Duncan, I, Lucifer