Amanda

“Unfortunately, premature forgiveness strands us in relationships with our parents that are as devoid of genuine warmth and intimacy as ever. Unless we work through the unresolved fear and hurt our parents caused us, we will always be uneasy around them and hold them at an emotional distance. This is commonly the case even when they have outgrown their abusive ways.”
― Pete Walker, The Tao of Fully Feeling: Harvesting Forgiveness out of Blame

“In today’s America, we tend to think of healing as something binary: either we’re broken or we’re healed from that brokenness. But that’s not how healing operates, and it’s almost never how human growth works. More often, healing and growth take place on a continuum, with innumerable points between utter brokenness and total health.”
― Resmaa Menakem, My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Mending of Our Bodies and Hearts

“Why didn't my mother see it? Why didn't she stop it? Why did she always blame me? Why did I always blame her? But it has always been easier to blame women, a string of lies tied to an apple. No one blames Adam for taking a bite of his own volition. No one blames God for the harshness of the punishment. Eve always pays for the sins.”
― Louise M. Wisechild, The Obsidian Mirror: Healing from Childhood Sexual Abuse

“Often, too, we have unconscious beliefs about what we can expect of other people and their capabilities or behaviours – these are ‘limiting expectations’. Limiting expectations play themselves out just as powerfully as limiting beliefs. This happens when we unconsciously treat people the way we expect them to be, and they in turn unconsciously meet that expectation by behaving in that way. Or else we unconsciously meet others’ unspoken expectations.”
― Judy Klipin, Life Lessons for the Adult Child: Transforming a Challenging Childhood