BinYamin

“The pain makes you so numb,
At times, you feel as if you are hallucinating,
Seeing things happen to you as if it were happening to someone else like an " out of body experience".

How could life be so cruel?

Is this what perseverance and enduring pain is all about;I ask myself ?
Somehow I have made myself believe that
" jumping off the cliff " or
" drowning myself "
would do nothing to ease this "pain " ! this " numbness "!
Seeing my loved one suffer after I am "gone" , I guess ,will make me more and more anxious ;
Angry "ghosts " don't make good " providers" , I assume.
So I carry on ..
I carry on every day .
It's a weight I have ...
It makes my heart sink to the bottomless pit ,
But
Then again,
a man like me; a giver & a man with no choice has " literally" no choice" but to " live with this hollowed numb"‎!”
― BinYamin Gulzar

“For me not to be insane , I had to be either sedated by my “ happy pill” or be activated by my hyper work mode. These were the only two responses my mind was known to react. Everything in between was a mundane distraction. A numb bliss , that annihilated everything rational that ever existed in my universe.”
― BinYamin Gulzar

“Tell me your dark secrets and I shall tell you mine, and in the darkest part of our existence , our souls will find their salvation in each other!”
― BinYamin Gulzar

“Insomnia , at times hits you like a cannonball ,
Breaking every wall of your estranged mind and making you loose your “ sanity “ !
You have been trying to befriend the demons , feeding on your fears ,
But,
Some nights, would just last for ever with no end in sight,
Some nights are just cold .
And you remind yourself that you are an “ invisible “ hero; And wait for the daybreak .”
― BinYamin Gulzar