Jane Sprang

“Anyone can claim the title Creative Director. It’s not a real title, like CEO of a Fortune 500 company, there’s no subject knowledge, talent, or experience required, you just start an agency and write creative director on your business card. It’s like buying a kayak and proclaiming yourself admiral of the fleet.”
― David Thorne, Yesterday's Words at Tomorrow's Prices

“Buy a Ring doorbell if you live in a shitty neighbourhood. Your package will still get stolen but you can post the video on the Ring app and an old lady named Janet will leave a comment about people having no respect for other people’s property since they stopped teaching the Bible in schools.”
― David Thorne, Let's Eat Grandma's Pills

“I’m practicing my crocheting at the dinner table, sweat soaking my shapeless shift. Though I’ve grown unspeakably huge, Dr. Krause has assured me there’s only one baby in there. I am so large that it is difficult to cook, but I still prepare all the meals for Stan and Dorothy. “You’re very good at that.” It’s Dorothy. I don’t know how long she’s been watching me knit. She steps behind me and pulls sticky hair from my neck. I shiver at the human touch. She begins twisting the short bits into tufts. “Catherine says you’re pretending.” My needles click. “Pretending what?”
― Jess Lourey, Bloodline

“I wrote, “Best margherita pizza I’ve ever had.” - which is a pretty big statement because I’ve had some good ones. After further consideration, I realised someone reading the review might think I haven’t had many or was exaggerating, so I added “I’ve had lots and I’m not exaggerating.” Good writing is about detail.”
― David Thorne, Deadlines Don't Care If Janet Doesn't Like Her Photo