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“I was going to have to tell people I got fired from selling dildos. I can't even sell fake cocks to a room full or horny women. How do you come back from that shit?”
― Seduction and Snacks
― Seduction and Snacks
“I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.”
― Seventh Grave and No Body
― Seventh Grave and No Body
“Tampon commercial, detergent commercial, maxi pad commercial, windex commercial - you'd think all women do is clean and bleed.”
― Gone Girl
― Gone Girl
“You can't just come into someone's life, make them feel special, and then leave.”
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“Water? At a wedding? I don’t understand,” he asks in confusion. “Did you invite Jesus? That’s the only way that will be acceptable.”
― Futures and Frosting
― Futures and Frosting
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