Lauren

“I think that you could have used your vast intellect far more usefully by serving mankind instead of stealing it. -Mycroft
"Where's the fun in that? Goodness is weakness, pleasantness is poisonous, serenity is mediocrity and kindness is for losers. The best reason for committing Loathsome and detestable acts - and let's face it, I am considered something of an expert in this field - is purely for their own sake. Monetary gain is all very well, but it dilutes the taste of wickedness to a lower level that is obtainable by almost anyone with an overdeveloped sense of avarice. True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good." -Acheron”
― Jasper Fforde, The Eyre Affair

“Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day your toes fall off and you can't walk to the bathroom.”
― Jasper Fforde, One of Our Thursdays Is Missing

“I think computers ought to have a key called I'M DRUNK, and when you push it, it prevents you from sending email for twelve hours.

I've got another one: a key called FUCK OFF. You press it every time your computer does something annoying -- in turn this would somehow force your computer to experience pain. And if you pushed SHIFT/FUCK OFF, you'd end up with FUCK OFF AND DIE, the computer equivalent of a razor being raked across your nipples.”
― Douglas Coupland, JPod

“Failure concentrates the mind wonderfully. If you don't make mistakes, you're not trying hard enough.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Well of Lost Plots