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The Ballad of Nev...
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by Stephanie Garber (Goodreads Author)
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Apr 14, 2026 08:15PM

 
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Apr 04, 2026 08:55AM

 
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“My father's brand of loud, violent chaos was replaced by something quiter and more insidious; a mother who meant well, who tried to give me everything, but failed to see that everything was too much. Boundaries fell away, the lines between parent and child blurred, and along with all her love and care and sacrifice I also got her fear and dread and a false belief that I was somehow responsible for fixing it all. And so what should have been a temporary measure to cope in a crisis became my way of dealing with everyday life - stay on high alert, push your feelings down and always have a plan. To this day, I have a faulty security system running constantly in the background, sounding the alarm and sending me into fight or flight over every perceived threat. I live life with a proverbial tiger in the room, but I can somehow withstands its presence as long as everything else is in order.”
Hazel Hayes, Out of Love

“We are both wounded in our own way and, like a pair of tectonic plates shifting over time, our wounds will gradually grate against one another’s, causing damage at a glacial pace. Neither one of us will notice until it’s too late.”
Hazel Hayes, Out of Love

“It was like he wanted to be anywhere but with me, and since all I needed was some comfort and his company, his absence only made me feel worse. Unfortunately, me being worse made him want to be with me less, so around and around we went, not knowing which was the chicken or which was the egg or whether it even mattered anymore.”
Hazel hayes, Out of Love

“Watch it again in a few years and I guarantee your perspective will change.’ ‘But the story won’t change.’ ‘It doesn’t have to,’ I say, ‘because you will.”
Hazel Hayes, Out of Love

“I sometimes wonder if it’s possible for a person to inherit a set of habits, a connection to a place, or a propensity towards loving bad men, like the ability to roll one’s tongue. I wonder if my father made me the way I am, or if my mother did, or if he’s to blame for how she is too. And if so, who’s to blame for him? I wonder if we’re all just the product of our parents’ fears and failings, and their parents before them. I wonder how far back the cycle goes, whether I’m predisposed to being mentally ill, whether I have any choice in how my life unfolds, or the person that I’m destined to be. You could go mad trying to figure it out.”
Hazel Hayes, Out of Love

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