Robert Williamson

“Roosevelt pulled a cigar from his pocket and lit it. “How can you smoke at a time like this?” asked the captain. His eyes were aimed up at the falling flames.

“Hell, if I’m going to die, it’s going to be doing something I enjoy. And since none of you are of the female persuasion, it’s the cigar.”

“At this point the fall would probably just pulverize our legs. If we could avoid cardiac arrest, we’d live. As invalids of course,” replied Smith.

“Don’t ruin my cigar, Schmitty.”
― Andrew Mayne, The Martian Emperor

“When you cross over into the weird stuff, there's no going back. Hector has a theory on it. Calls it the law of 'Anomalous Phenomena Attraction.' He explained it to me once. Didn't really pay attention, but it boils down to 'weird shit pulls in more weird shit.”
― A. Lee Martinez, Gil's All Fright Diner

“If I learned anything Downtown, it's this: the only real difference between an enemy and a friend is the day of the week.”
― Richard Kadrey, Sandman Slim

“A cute girl, a pissed off Were-spider, and an occult boulnty hunter carrying a small arsenal walk into a bar...

I bet this joke was gonna have one helluva punch line.”
― James R. Tuck, Spider's Lullaby