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Justin Halpern
“Your penis betrayed you, son. Made you think stupid. It won't be the last time that happens.”
Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

Justin Halpern
“If you work hard and study hard. And you fuck up. That's okay. If you fuck up and you fuck up, then you're a fuckup”
Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

Justin Halpern
“That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.”
Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

Justin Halpern
“Why would you throw a ball in someone's face?...Huh. That's a pretty good reason. Well, I can't do much about your teacher being pissed, but me and you are good.”
Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says
tags: humor

Justin Halpern
“You worry too much. Eat some bacon...what? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon.”
Justin Halpern, Sh*t My Dad Says

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