Razan Sharif

“It’s very hard for us to believe that people who loved us would intentionally hurt us, so we feel the need to excuse their behavior. But repressing that pain just makes us more likely to hit our own children. If you were willing to reach deep inside and really feel again the hurt you felt when you were physically punished as a child, you would never consider inflicting that pain on your own child. And the pain does not end in childhood, even if we repress and deny it. The scientific consensus of hundreds of studies shows that corporal punishment during childhood is associated with negative behaviors in adults, even when the adult says that the spanking did not affect them badly. Even a few instances of being hit as a child are associated with more depressive symptoms as an adult. While most of us who were spanked “turned out okay,” it is clear that not being spanked would have helped us turn out to be healthier. I suspect that one contributing factor to the epidemic of anxiety and depression among adults in our culture is that so many of us grew up with parents who hurt us.”
― Laura Markham, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting

“The dirty little secret about punishment is that it doesn’t work to teach children better behavior. In fact, studies show that punishment creates more bad behavior. Not just that children who behave badly get punished more, but that children who get punished more will behave badly more often over time.1 That’s because punishment teaches all the wrong lessons.”
― Laura Markham, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting

“Kids raised from birth on to feel safe expressing their emotions, who feel their parents are on their side, aren’t perfect. They’re easier to parent, though, because they’re better at managing their emotions, and therefore their behavior. They’re more willing to accept our guidance.”
― Laura Markham, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting

“Sometimes our child’s strong emotions are triggered by essential needs that go unmet, needs the child can’t verbalize. Most parents focus on physical needs like sleep, food, and cleanliness. But often we forget their deeper needs:”
― Laura Markham, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting