Lauren Johnson

“Two cans of green beans, one can of cream of mushroom soup, a splash of Worcestershire, a pinch of salt, a dash of pepper, a frozen bag of Ore-Ida Tater Tots. Mix wet ingredients in a bowl (bowl and spoon already on the counter) and pour into a nine-by-twelve casserole dish (also already on the counter). Cover with Tater Tots (still in the freezer). Preheat the oven to 350 degrees, bake until the Tots are golden brown, then remove using the oven mitts and trivet (again, already on the counter).”
― Heather Gay, Bad Mormon: A Memoir

“So much more of life is lived in the process rather than the result—but we insist on bolding the latter.”
― Aparna Nancherla, Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Impostor Syndrome

“This is my house,” Aunt Honey said, “and I don’t want anyone calling anyone else an ‘a-hole’ when what they mean to say is ‘asshole.’ That includes you, Gail. Say what you mean, or get out.”
― Grady Hendrix, How to Sell a Haunted House