Joi

“Nothing clarifies boundaries more than forgiveness. To forgive someone means to let him off the hook, or to cancel a debt he owes you. When you refuse to forgive someone, you still want something from that person, and even if it is revenge that you want, it keeps you tied to him forever.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No

“How often do we hear the statement that “God loves the sinner, but hates the sin”? It’s true. His love is constant and “never fails” (1 Cor. 13:8). When parents detach from a misbehaving young child instead of staying connected and dealing with the problem, God’s constant love is misrepresented. When parents pull away in hurt, disappointment, or passive rage, they are sending this message to their youngster: You’re loveable when you behave. You aren’t loveable when you don’t behave.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No

“when people are abused while growing up, they reverse the function of boundaries and keep the bad in and the good out.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

“Many couples have trouble with this aspect of marriage. They feel abandoned when their spouse wants time apart. In reality, spouses need time apart, which makes them realize the need to be back together. Spouses in healthy relationships cherish each other’s space and are champions of each other’s causes.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No