Maria

“First off, contrary to popular belief, I'm as human as you are. One of us should probably be ashamed of that. I'm not entirely sure that it's me.”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. True friends help you move the bodies of those who turned out not to have been friends to begin with.”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“Punching your companions is unhelpful. Go into the forest and practice unarmed combat against a tree.”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“There's not a lot in this world as motivational as a firm belief in an unbending universal morality which just happens to place you on the side of the angels.”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord