Jonny Illuminati

“Exactly how long can you stand on a street corner showing two drug dealers your scar-tissue-induced radical penis curvature? The answer is twelve seconds. After that it feels weird.”
― Jeremy Robert Johnson, Skullcrack City

“Mac, are we having an adventure? Is someone going to shoot at me? Am I going to be kidnapped again? Locked in a trunk and dropped into the sea? Experimented on with growth hormones? Chased by a lunatic in a mechanical werewolf getup? It sure feels like we’re having an adventure.”
“Yep, we’re having an adventure,” Mac said.”
― Laird Barron, X's For Eyes

“I considered sex work, but then I bent over and looked at my asshole in a mirror. Nobody was going to pay me for access to that thing.”
― Jeremy Robert Johnson, Skullcrack City

“No one chooses to become a banker. It just happens, like cancer, and then you try to live with it for as long as you can. After thirteen years in the industry, I was damn near terminal. With each step up the corporate ladder I received a slightly smaller laptop, a slightly-harder-to-adjust office chair. To compensate they offered free donuts and coffee cards. Weekends off. 401K vesting. Medical insurance that I had to have because they were turning me into a half-blind hunchback with diabetes. The”
― Jeremy Robert Johnson, Skullcrack City