Jonny Illuminati

“I mean, I had my turtle Deckard, but his lifestyle consisted of sunbathing, eating goldfish, and—somehow I just knew this—silently judging me while I masturbated. I’d taken to covering his tank with a thin blanket, but still…he knew.”
― Jeremy Robert Johnson, Skullcrack City

“I used to believe there was a part of the human brain we couldn’t quite excise, and its sole purpose was to encourage self-destruction. Someday, I thought, the guys working on the BRAIN Initiative would push aside a contour in the gray matter and find a pulsing, jet-black spot. They’d insert a probe into the patient’s head to press the nodule and the patient’s immediate response would be to shout out, “FUCK IT! WHY NOT?”
― Jeremy Robert Johnson, Skullcrack City

“I considered sex work, but then I bent over and looked at my asshole in a mirror. Nobody was going to pay me for access to that thing.”
― Jeremy Robert Johnson, Skullcrack City

“That really your kind of crowd? These effete psychos who want to relive the seedier aspects of the Roman empire?

These are the kind of folks who own tropical islands. Hell, some of them run banana republics for fun. They want a spectacle, I can fill the bill.

Ah yes. Dictators, inbred nobility and other megalomaniacs. Swell friends you got there.

It's a living.”
― Laird Barron, The Light is the Darkness