Paul McCain

“On the healing journey, many of us devote a lot of our energy to healing our trauma. Sometimes we are focused on our pain for many years without experiencing any real pleasure. Sometimes this is absolutely necessary. But when we are ready, we have to remember to invite pleasure into our daily experience. Good feelings are a manifestation of our healing, and they are also essential to it. Pleasure nourishes and strengthens us. This is often missed in the therapeutic movement.”
― Jeff Brown, Soulshaping: A Journey of Self-Creation

“A good friend was always going on about the merits of practical love. For her it was quite simple—make a list of values and personality traits and marry the first person that checks off. Assembly-line love. But the pragmatists don’t realize what fifty years in the same room can feel like, particularly if there is no soul bridge between the two people. What happens if one partner begins to grumble for a more spiritual life? Will they be held back by the practical partnership they committed to seven years earlier? Do they adapt to the lowest common denominator and vibrate at the level of the least growth-full partner? Do they feign commonality at the expense of their clarity? Or do they walk away with three screaming children?”
― Jeff Brown, Soulshaping: A Journey of Self-Creation

“For the artist who endured childhood shaming—over any form of neediness, any type of exploration, any expectation—shame may kick in even without the aid of a shame-provoking review. If a child has ever been made to feel foolish for believing himself or herself talented, the act of actually finishing a piece of art will be fraught with internal shaming. Many artists begin a piece of work, get well along in it, and then find, as they near completion, that the work seems mysteriously drained of merit. It’s no longer worth the trouble. To therapists, this surge of sudden disinterest (“It doesn’t matter”) is a routine coping device employed to deny pain and ward off vulnerability.”
― Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity

“A parent-figure who is feeling overwhelmed by and uncomfortable with their own emotions, when seeing their child distressed, might say “You’re too sensitive.” The child, whose main objective is to receive love, will suppress or hide their perceived sensitivities in an attempt to continue to do so. If this pattern continues, the child might “toughen up” or detach, ignoring their authentic Self and presenting a false self, which emerges from a core belief that parts of their identity are unacceptable. I see this a lot with my male clients and friends. For some who grew up with the model of toxic hypermasculinity, where men are discouraged or shamed for expressing emotion, even acknowledging that they have an emotional world may be challenging. In cases like these, we’re fighting not just the conditioning of our parent-figures and family unit but society at large.”
― Nicole LePera, How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self