Applemily

“Hail His Majesty, the scourge of my life," Conner said to Roden and Tobias as he stomped up the stairs. "I fear the devils no longer, because I have the worst of them right here in my home!”
― Jennifer A. Nielsen, The False Prince

“Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.”
― Douglas MacArthur

“Master Graves was incensed and said, as punishment for my disruption, I would have to write my letters an extra ten times that day.
"Ten times the better I'll know them, then." I said. "How strange that you should punish me by ensuring I come out more educated than Roden, who has tried to obey you.”
― Jennifer A. Nielsen, The False Prince

“I don't want unnecessary violence, sergeant," said Blouse.
"Right you are, sir!" said the sergeant. "Carborundum! First man comes through that door runnin', I want him nailed to the wall!" He caught the lieutenant's eye, and added: "But not too hard!”
― Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment