Jayd

“I become like a boulder on the beach in a time-lapse video. The sun and moon and stars cross the sky again and again, shadows lengthen and shrink, the tide rushes in and out. The sea heaves in the background, crabs and seabirds flicker in and out of view. Meanwhile, the boulder sits there, stolid, unmoving, all alone, as life whizzes past.”
― Misa Sugiura, It's Not Like It's a Secret

“He was no good for them, anyway; he was only an extravagant collection of problems, nothing more. Unless he stopped himself, he would consume them with his needs. He would take and take and take from them until he had chewed away their every bit of flesh; they could answer every difficulty he posed to them and he would still find new ways to destroy them. For a while, they would mourn him, because they were good people, the best, and he was sorry for that—but eventually they would see that their lives were better without him in it. They would see how much time he had stolen from them; they would understand what a thief he had been, how he had suckled away all their energy and attention, how he had exsanguinated them. He hoped they would forgive him; he hoped they would see that this was his apology to them. He was releasing them—he loved them most of all, and this was what you did for people you loved: you gave them their freedom.”
― Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life

“One of the many, many horrors of depression is that it takes your words away from you. You realise the other person is talking, and you haven't been saying anything for hours on end. This is a painful inversion of mania's excess of speech. You simply run out of words at some point. This is what they mean by the two poles of 'bipolar'.”
― Sam Twyford-Moore, The Rapids : Ways of looking at mania

“Ich hätte längst drauf kommen müssen, dass Marja nicht einfach nur faul und schlampig ist. Sondern dass sie faul und schlampig ist, weil sie Depressionen hat. Als ich noch medizinische Hilfsschwester war, hatte niemand Depressionen, und wenn sich einer umbrachte, nannte man ihn geisteskrank, außer es geschah aus Liebe. Später las ich in der Zeitung, dass es neuerdings so etwas wie Depressionen gebe, und bei Irinas letztem Besuch habe ich sie danach gefragt.”
― Alina Bronsky, Baba Dunjas letzte Liebe