Scapegoated
by
NEW JERSEY HAS the best garage sales. In the same pile as you might find a stained Baby Shark onesie and a Ziplock bag full of 1,000 Ikea Allen wrenches, you may discover a garter belt worn by Marie Antoinette or another garter belt worn by
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“If asked about Carlos, Less always calls him “one of my oldest friends.” The date of their first encounter can be pinpointed precisely: Memorial Day, 1987. Less can even remember what each of them wore: he, a green Speedo, Carlos, the same in bright banana. Each with a white-wine spritzer in hand, like a pistol, eyeing the other from across the deck. A song was playing, Whitney Houston wanting to dance with somebody. Shadow of a sequoia falling between them. With somebody who loved her. Oh, to have a time machine and a video camera! To capture thin pink-gold Arthur Less and brawny nut-brown Carlos Pelu in their youth, when your narrator was only a child! But who needs a camera? Surely, for each of them, that scene replays itself whenever the other’s name is mentioned. Memorial Day, spritzer, sequoia, somebody. And each smiles and says the other is “one of my oldest friends.” When of course they hated each other on sight.”
― Less
― Less

“You can be cynical if you want.” “I am.” “But cynicism doesn’t accomplish anything.” “Untrue,” I say. “Cynicism saves lives.”
― Wayward Son
― Wayward Son

“The grey hair, which has spoken of old age at once to writers and doctors, means to a painter not just grey hair, but a certain grey – perhaps a grey with silver lights and warm shadows, perhaps an opaque cold grey, but a grey as different from other greys as one chord in music is different from others.”
― Sketches In Pen And Ink: A Bloomsbury Notebook
― Sketches In Pen And Ink: A Bloomsbury Notebook

“The two agents exchanged a look that was like stepping on a LEGO—quick and unpleasant.”
― Spell or High Water
― Spell or High Water

“You’ll support a Republican president in twenty years who’s worse than Reagan,” I explained. “Worse than Reagan?” Junior asked. “How’s that possible?” “Evolution. In the future assholes will be much larger than they are today.”
― Remembrance of Things I Forgot: A Novel
― Remembrance of Things I Forgot: A Novel

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