Laura

“I really loathe [the bumper sticker] 'Proud Parent of a Terrific Kid!'

Why not a bumper sticker for the unlucky parents, something like: 'My Fifteen-Year-Old's in Detox and Not Speaking to Any of Us' or 'My Kid Robbed a 7-Eleven and is in a Center for Youthful Offenders.”
― Celia Rivenbark, Bless Your Heart, Tramp: And Other Southern Endearments

“My breath caught in wonder and surprise and I remembered that during the darkest of hours, God is. ”
― Lisa Samson, Songbird

“[Home Economics Textbook from 1950]: "Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so you'll look refreshed when hubby comes home from work. Touch up makeup and put a ribbon in your hair. He's just been with work-weary people. Be a little gay. His boring day needs a lift."

Mama Celia: "Get knee-walking drunk. You've earned it. You've been with four kids under the age of seven all day. Put a ribbon in your nose and try to pull it out of your mouth. You're wasted, after all. Announce you're gay. The look on his face will give you a lift.”
― Celia Rivenbark, Bless Your Heart, Tramp: And Other Southern Endearments

“Severe isn't a word normally associated with a cold. Severe is for weather or third-degree burns...No one responds 'severe' when someone asks how her cold is.

In fact, nine out of ten Americans respond to 'How's your cold' with 'It sucks.' So there should be an It Sucks cold formula.”
― Celia Rivenbark, Bless Your Heart, Tramp: And Other Southern Endearments