Leo

“. . . and last but not least, a band called Not Only Does Tobin Rock Fuckin’ Hardcore, He Gets More Ass than a Goddamn Cemetery.”
― Douglas Hackle, The Hottest Gay Man Ever Killed in a Shark Attack

“More ass than a goddamn cemetery my old, wooden ass!” Rosebud said. “If I’m not mistaken, you’re still a virgin”
― Douglas Hackle, The Hottest Gay Man Ever Killed in a Shark Attack

“Now came time for Chessler’s world-famous catchphrase. He cleared his throat, spoke the words in a stentorian voice befitting a great statesman or decorated military general: “By golly, I’ll eat this motherfuckin’ fistful of squirming maggots ’cause I just don’t give a heck!”
― Douglas Hackle, The Hottest Gay Man Ever Killed in a Shark Attack

“Though completely irrelevant to the story, seventeen minutes and thirty-two seconds later, every instance of the word “the” that appeared in this chapter transmogrified into a tiny, blue, pineapple-headed bat that flew away to France to start a brand new life even though they all hated France (except for French fries, guillotines, and that place in France where the naked ladies dance). Regarding the latter, apparently there’s a hole in the wall where tiny, blue, pineapple-headed bats can see it all.”
― Douglas Hackle, The Hottest Gay Man Ever Killed in a Shark Attack