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Bill Watterson
“Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.”
Bill Watterson

Rodney Dangerfield
“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
Rodney Dangerfield

Jane Austen
“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”
Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

Eric Hoffer
“The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.”
Eric Hoffer

Bill Maher
“Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit!”
Bill Maher

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