Janet (iamltr)

“Nothing hides the ugly like a smile,” as her mother was so quick to say when life beat her down.”
― Michaelbrent Collings, Terminal

“Tudor Life Tip: Children aren’t born cruel, violent, or sociopathic. So it takes an exhausting amount of neglect and callousness to prepare them for leadership!”
― Henry VIII, Unleash Your Inner Tudor: Henry VIII’s Inspirational Guide to a Completely Sizzling, Sparkly, Tyrannical, Much Wider, Demanding, and Sexier You

“Rules for Peasants Reading This Book 1. Whilst reading this glorious and inspirational guide to life, a full prostration upon the floor (face down, arms outstretched) is preferred but a kneel is okay. But do it with feeling. And don’t try one of those half-hearted one-knees-bent poses! Kneeling means both knees!”
― Henry VIII, Unleash Your Inner Tudor: Henry VIII’s Inspirational Guide to a Completely Sizzling, Sparkly, Tyrannical, Much Wider, Demanding, and Sexier You

“I hope you brought your Bible because this one needs the demons driven out. Her feminine wiles are out of control.”
― Jessa Kane, Preacher Man