Caren Bertrand

“Mary-Lynnette: "You have not read 'Pride and Prejudice'."
Ash: "Why not?"
Mary-Lynnette: "Because Jane Austen was a human."
Ash: "How do you know?"
Mary-Lynnette: "Well Jane Austen was a woman, and you're a chauvinist pig."
Ash: "Yes, well, that I can't argue.”
― L. J. Smith

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
― George Carlin

“Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
― Mark Twain

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
― Woody Allen