David

“No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

“Do you understand how there could be any writing in a spider's web?"
"Oh, no," said Dr. Dorian. "I don't understand it. But for that matter I don't understand how a spider learned to spin a web in the first place. When the words appeared, everyone said they were a miracle. But nobody pointed out that the web itself is a miracle."
"What's miraculous about a spider's web?" said Mrs. Arable. "I don't see why you say a web is a miracle-it's just a web."
"Ever try to spin one?" asked Dr. Dorian.”
― E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web

“You insolent prick! You have bloodied me.” “Weird,” I said, lazily leaning on the axe, “that’s what your sister said to me last night.” Definitely got a few oohs from the audience for that one.”
― Eric Ugland, Heir Today, Pawn Tomorrow

“Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process.”
― E.B. White