Thomas

“Interesting office management skills, kind of a 'violence is not the answer so I'm going to beat the shit out of you philosophy.”
― Craig Johnson, The Cold Dish

“It was a two-gallon Styrofoam cooler - one of the cheap ones that you can pick up at any service station in the summer season and then listen to it squeak to the point of homicidal dementia.”
― Craig Johnson

“There are only three major vote getting days in Absoroka County, and I can't remember the other two. "Oh God, no. It's Pancake Day." I thought about shooting myself. I could see the headlines: Sheriff shoots self, unable to face pancakes.”
― Craig Johnson, The Cold Dish

“I don’t know what the exact physical dynamics are that cause a shower curtain to attach itself to your body when you turn on the water but, since my shower was surrounded on all sides by curtains, I turned on the water and became a vinyl, vacuum-sealed sheriff burrito.”
― Craig Johnson, The Cold Dish