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H. Beam Piper
“Take a drink because you pity yourself, and then the drink pities you and has a drink, and then two good drinks get together and that calls for drinks all around.”
H. Beam Piper, Little Fuzzy

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night

Mark Twain
“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”
Mark Twain

Christopher Moore
“It’s sarcasm, Josh.”

“Sarcasm?”

“It’s from the Greek, sarkasmos. To bite the lips. It means that you aren’t really saying what you mean, but people will get your point. I invented it, Bartholomew named it.”

“Well, if the village idiot named it, I’m sure it’s a good thing.”

“There you go, you got it.”

“Got what?”

“Sarcasm.”

“No, I meant it.”

“Sure you did.”

“Is that sarcasm?”

“Irony, I think.”

“What’s the difference?”

“I haven’t the slightest idea.”

“So you’re being ironic now, right?”

“No, I really don’t know.”

“Maybe you should ask the idiot.”

“Now you’ve got it.”

“What?”

“Sarcasm.”
Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”
Kurt Vonnegut

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