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The Christmas Elf
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“Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is 6 + 4?
Class: At once!”
Various, Best Jokes 2014

“What would be the point of my going outside this factory for the first time to initiate my evil plan to take over the country using an army of human drones wearing mind control helmets if I didn’t take the master uplink system for the mind control helmets with me?”
Greg James, Kid Normal: The first book in the super heroic, super silly series from Greg James and Chris Smith

James Warwood
“Be quiet Muggles! I’ve found the Elder Wand and fixed it with Sellotape from the kitchen draw. I am now the most powerful wizard in the world... ...what’s the spell to make it rain Chocolate Frogs?”
James Warwood, 49 Excuses for Not Tidying Your Bedroom

“All that was left was a Belgian cybernetic assassin, stuck in a woman’s bedroom with an unconscious Frenchman, hemmed in by the African Estrogen Guard, under fire and waiting for a man in a cat suit to come kill him. If it hadn’t been so dire, it would be absurd.”
Jesse J. Holland, Black Panther: Who is the Black Panther?

“I see nobody on the road,” said Alice. “I only wish I had such eyes,” the King remarked in a fretful tone. “To be able to see Nobody!”
Dan Cryan, Introducing Logic: A Graphic Guide

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