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The Christmas Elf
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Charlotte Brontë
“Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts, as much as their brothers do; they suffer from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would suffer; and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures to say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and knitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags.”
Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

“I see nobody on the road,” said Alice. “I only wish I had such eyes,” the King remarked in a fretful tone. “To be able to see Nobody!”
Dan Cryan, Introducing Logic: A Graphic Guide

“What would be the point of my going outside this factory for the first time to initiate my evil plan to take over the country using an army of human drones wearing mind control helmets if I didn’t take the master uplink system for the mind control helmets with me?”
Greg James, Kid Normal: The first book in the super heroic, super silly series from Greg James and Chris Smith

W. Bruce Cameron
“Both boys ate some of the dog snacks, which I found both odd and disturbing.”
W. Bruce Cameron, A Dog's Way Home

“You’re so fat… you fell out of both sides of the bed!”
Various, 100+ Insults: Funny Insults, Comedy, and Humor!

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