Cobra.

“United States”
― David Baddiel, The Boy Who Could Do What He Liked

“He pulled out the letter and read:   HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY   Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)   Dear Mr Potter, We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.   Yours sincerely,   Minerva McGonagall Deputy Headmistress”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

“Oh,you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me.
You can keep your bowlers black,
Your tops hats sleek and tall,
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I can cap them all.
There's nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.
Y ou might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell brave of heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;
Or yet wise old Ravenclaw,
If you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Or perhaps in Slytherin
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means
To achive their ends.
So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And you won't get in a flap!
You're safe in my hands(though I have none)
For I'm a Thinking Cap!!”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

“Books”
― Zack Zombie, Bullies and Buddies